Liquid Darkness.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Temple.

I am beginning to hate to go temple. Or rather being dragged to temple. Ok auspicious day. So what? I have to admit. I hate crowds. Who doesnt. But as a Hindu, trust me the crowds that can accumulate in temples is just infuriating. There is never an organized way of praying. Everyone is everywhere. And the smell of incense, middle-aged aunties, the sounds of the blaring indian musical instruments and the feel of disgusting floor riddled with wet, black footprints. Ok I shall stop whining like a girl asking whether she is fat. Personally I can stand all this. In fact it all accumulates to ONLY about 10% of my total frustration. As a young man, this is nothing. I have learnt to cope with more frustrations in life, compared to them this is trivial. I have been in worse crowds and I just have to learn to accept my traditional methods in Hindu places of worship. But the 90% of the frustration comes in when my parents force me to come to temple on auspicious days where the crowd will be double and all the hoo-hah will be doubled. Seriously, half of them I can tell, are not there for praying, they are just showing face. Girls dress up like there is no tomorrow to flaunt to lecherous guys. All pretend to be traditional and good family girls. Then why is your fucking saree so revealing. Why wear make up like a clown? Because God will punish them if they dont look good? Girls and despo guys make up your minds. I dont even wish to touch on some hypocrytic adults who drag their entire family down to temple and pretend to pray. Basically a temple is a meeting point for all relatives to talk kok. Show off. The bleeding aunties are wearing like 10 kg worth of jewellry and a saree as thick and glamorous like mammoth hide. Then they sweat like mad and stink up the whole place. The men just slowly smoke out and talk about manchester united and chelsea and arse-nal and beers outside the temple. And young men of justice and true to their hearts like myself are suffering. I wish to pray in peace. In quietness. Like the early morning of saturday in Perumal temple. Its so big and empty and serene. Not a soul around. I feel so light and free to talk to God. Whenever I am dragged like a dog in chains to temple on other days, I am forcing myself to pray so that it wont be a waste coming down all the way and enduring the smell of the reeking aunties. I rather inhale in anthrax. I am sorry terrorists, I have found a smell worse than your bio-terrorism chemicals. Fat, sweating women. Even when the men sweat in temples I still can vaguely smell their cologne when my nose is sardined in the crowd. But I dont know what evil or what bacteria causes that putrid stench of ladies draped in sarees as thick as armour and jewellery like rambo's machine gun ammo. Ok enough of stinking ladies. Yea, I CANT PRAY IN PEACE WHEN FORCED TO. I am dreading it nowadays. Whenever another auspicious day comes, I am fearing it like D-day. I miss the good old Saturday mornings when I will just wake up early, take bus and pay a visit to temple to see an old friend. Its so magical then. Because, I AM ALONE.

8:41 AM

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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The story of Fish Man.

Hi Kids. Sorry for the long break. I was on the run from the law because I stole ketupat from Blackly Detention Centre. High five, kids. Now its bed time and I am going to be a nice guy by telling you all a bed time story.

Once upon a time there a lived a man called Fish Man. He was from St. Michelle Primary School. Personally I dont know what he did at the primary school. I could only remember a pidophile, Ivangelline the terrible and a boy called geraldine pork came from that school too. Very nice.

But Fish man came over to St. Josephsine Institute of Mental Health (SJIMH) a renowned secondary school whose sole goal is to eliminate hairy legged insects from Chinese Low Secondary School. Guess what? I was from that secondary school too! But I played quite a lot and got 15 points(my bad). But Fish man, due to his supreme cock sucking powers, received extreme intellect and had 7 points. Or was it 6? Who gives a fuck? Oh wait, fish man does. Fishman though very contented wth his grades was sad about something. That he had gills? No. That he had scales instead of a scrotum? Noo. [I bet even if he wanted to soo-nat, the doctor would have mistaken it to be a badly presented sushi] Amen. He was sad that he didnt get an outstanding CCA record. Oh my bad, he chose to be fat. Oh, my bad he chose to be fit and unhealthy like a tuna with karposi sarcoma.

Oh well, with 7 points, what did fish man do? He went to SJIMH's affliated school, Castration Junior College. Why? Why didnt he go to Waffles Junior College or Ching Chong Junior College? Was Fish man acting cute? Was his cerebrum out of order? Only neptune (GOD of siloso beach) knows. Can you believe it? He said it felt like home there. Oh whatever. I thought Fish man was a nice guy. Polite and humble. Looks can be deceiving. He looked like a baracuda shuffed in a goldfish suit.

He joined council. I bet he would have harakiri himself if he didnt had made it to council. BUT. I bet he emoed himself in front of the mirror for weeks crying to himself?" WHY?! WASN'T MY 7 POINTS GOOD ENOUGH? Was my scales and blubber insufficient? If those people like donavan with a 'wazzup makkalz' attitude and even a naga siren can become a VP, why can't I, the great fish man, couldnt get into exco?!?!" I dont think Jek Swan would have been seduced by your fish smell, moron. He was looking for leadership, not how long you can hold your breath under the water.

Community Involvement Wing, Special Projects. He hated it there. Basically it was sai-kang squad and a couple of cool projects. Fish man wanted to be in student activities. But too bad, he was under Saito chen and sanosuke chan. Guess what. The hitokiri was in the same branch as him also. For two years i have endured his fish smell and air of professionalism. He is not. He is a lousy leader in my opinion. Just keep his backside clean, kiasu (dont want to lose out) and no sense of pride. He thought he was the perfect prefect. Guess what, bitch. I was a prefect there too. One who remembered I was chosen and elected by the student body. Continuously fighting for rights and justice and equality for the student body even after a whole year. I raised the flag with pride, said the pledge with honour, (We the citizens of singapore, pledge ourselves at all times in the spirit .... Fuck ...) planned and executed council programs. I was definietly not perfect. But at least I was not a pompous prefect whose nose is on the top of his head. Arrogant. Hey fish man? Do you breathe in water like whales do. Do gushes of water squirt out from the nose that is on the top of your head. Oh dear, marry squirtle then. I thought another witch called tiffoony was the arrogant one. She has put me down many many times. Whether its my curse or God's will, she failed GP in As. I was elated. Hey tiffoony. If it wasnt for Ivangelline the terrible, I would have flamed you in public long time ago. But 'the terrible' is my friend. As much he loves you tiffoony, I hate you. Well 'the terrible', I can only say this. Regain back your lost honour. Stop brooding over the fountain of health and be the warrior I once knew. The one full of pride that he was a cjcian councillor, the one who didnt hold back at justice and spoke his mind out in anger. The one full of spirit. Come out 'the terrible' from your home and emotional walls. You are different from tiffoony and fish man. Go to your uni and make more friends (and wives if u have to), forget tiffoony. She does not deserve you. Take your silver bayonet and satay tiffoony and fish man together and walk away with honour and victory. I have told you this many times in person because I dont want you to ear the title as "emo". Only fish man deserves that title. Omg, have I digressed? Sorry kids. Ok after As, army.

Omfg. Can you believe it that he became a one bar. Army is awesome. It can evaporate all the toughest blubber in the world. But how on earth did he make thru BMT and make it to OCS. Must be studies. I half expected him to cry and beg for mercy at BMT's mental torture. Because he is emo. He is mentally weak. What were they thinking man? Must be his studies. But who gives a damn abt it now? ORD lo.

Why am I telling you this story kids? Because Fish man and I have not spoken and met and had a good talk for quite some time. Now army is over, I thought more get-together, outings, old council hangout days will be more frequent. Well, yes fish man organized one. Well kids, listen to this part carefully. The reason why I am flaming this online, is because of a conversation that occured between fish man and saito hajime (quick news: saito hajimi was a pidophile before he became a full time patriot that swore to drive moronic girls into committing suicide. Bravo.) Fish man, over msn, invited saito for a "partial council meeting" and he gave his reasons for his selected people. He didnt invite me, I mean I cant protest why he didnt invite me because thast so unprofessional. But did you know what was the reason he gave? Listen up donavan.

1.) Because, he said if saito invited me, I would have a compulsion to also invite donovan, "My twin brother". My "siamese twin" he said. Can you believe that kids, donovan and I met up once in a blue moon during weekends for lan or lunch since army began. Yes I was close to donovan in Millenia Instititute (first 3 months) and in CJ itself. But he made new friends, and I made mine. Thast life right. Unavoidable. Did don and I emo over that? No. Fish man thought I was engaged to don and was going to marry him in ROM after army.

Ok, so what if I invited don? Fish man thought don and I and even saito might get influenced in our "own conversation". He said that we trio will be conversing at a different wavelength from the rest. What wavelength are you talking about fish man? Elitism? Your own underwater language with other geniuses in the world. Hey ya, I do have a sense of humour and I tend to crak jokes and relive and re-enact our cj and sji times. Hey but ppl do laugh and get entertained. I never wanted to be in the limelight, its just my nature of talking trash that entertains people. Well does fish man has a problem with it. OMG. I didnt realize and I almost forgot that we are 21. So we must talk prim, proper adult and intelligence stuff like fish man. Ok even if I was invited to the outing, would don and I had spoken arabic? Its english dude. And EVEN if we cracked up some trash talk, we would have been sensitive enough to involve and engage EVERYONE in the outing in our conversation so as to not leave them out. Hey fish man. Even Borat would have talked more sense. I almost choked out blood when i saw the line "WE THINK ON DIFFERENT WAVELENGTH". Ok fish man, big fuck. I am sorry I am not up to your kingly thoughts. I am just a commoner. So is don. But know this. Hitokiri Battousai was a commoner too, in fact a farmer. But look what he did to the great shogunate at the Tokugawa era in Japan, 18th century. You have clearly underestimated me, fish man. Not just that. You have dragged don in this, as you have paired him up with me in this issue. Oh you are in trouble, fish man. That msn convo that saito hajime saved and shared with me. It fuels my will to live and prove that even average people like me can one day stomp on your arrogance and your air of "he-does-not talk-on-the-same-wavelength-as-me". You have made a terrible mistake. Forgetting to leave me out is one thing. Purposefully leaving me out for your own personal vengeance is another thing. I dont give a damn. But leaving me out, for the disgusting reasons you gave saito was the greatest mistake that you did your whole life. If you had courage say that to me personally or over the phone. But backstabbing me and don like this. Fish man, you are asking for it.

2.) Fish man called me emo. Hitokiri battousai, has sworn that he would eliminate every fool that wallows in self pity and not move on in life. And he called me emo. Can you taste the irony. I am at war with these emo species and he said I am one of them.

YOU FUCKERS WHO ARE CASUALLY USING THE HOTTEST WORD IN TOWN CALLED "EMO"; LEARN THIS DEFINITION AND USE IT WISELY.

Emo : A term used to describe people who wallow in self-pity over their personal issues and seek attention for people to console them. Moreover, even after countless consolation from their entire social circle, they go back to square 1 and pity their state again. They have absolutely no will in life, they dont wish to conquer their setbacks and failures and learn from them. They think that failing in the aspect that is the source of their sorrow is the greatest embarrassment and disgrace in life. This is usually used as the last resort to attain what they cannot get by hoping to touch the hearts of the people giving attention to them.

Can you still taste the fucking irony people? Fish man does not even know me personally. And those who know me well, even my neighbour's dog can tell that I have never brooded over my failures. In fact, I am a rebel. I am with war with myself. Everyday, i think of my failures, it gives me the extra boost to prove and succeed in life. I learnt this strong values from the ONLY anime i watch (though recently i have been ban-kaiing) CALLED SAMURAI X. Look it up and you will find familiar terms such as hitokiri battousai, tokugawa era, saito hajime ect. I saw it more as a cartoon and the values etched deep in my heart. The greatest moral I learnt from it is "the will to live". For example, am I crying over my love rejects and failures? In fact, I am laughing. Dudes, I will just walk away saying to myself that they were not good enough for me. Whether this is true, is another issue. But WATCH AND LEARN HOW I TURNED MY BACK MY FAILURES AFTER ANALYSING THEM AND MOVED ON. IF YOU THINK I AM BLOWING MY TRUMPET, SO BE IT, IF IT HAD TO ISNPIRE YOU TO MOVE ON! I recently intoduced Samurai X to saito chen and he found the words he was seeking all his life. AKU SOKU ZAN, which means slay evil immediately. We are men of spirit and honour and justice and WOLVES THIRSTY FOR NEVER ENDING PATH FOR SUCCESS. We seek to eliminate unnecessary emotions holding us back and MOVE ON IN LIFE. WE DARE TO BE DIFFERENT. Got a problem with that? We are trying our best to instill this same values into our closest friends. We dont wish to see any emo fucks among our closest social circle and we are taking the stride for the sake of friendship to cure and heal them. This is what I am. This is my character. Does anyone have any questions up your anus, because I dont think you can hold it there any more. Shit out your doubts and questions and call me or msn me if you have to. (canem.lupine@hotmail.com) So I get extremely angry if fuckers like fish man just assume that I am emo and worse, probably spread the word to his selected elite council group. I once knew an united council, we all held and weaved the same web. It is fuckers like fish man and some others that rip it apart. I seek justice. I felt compelled to blog this down and make fun of it like I have always done. But guess what, fish man. Now I know your true face. All the while you have been smiling to me like some buddha face and I didnt see through it. Goodness, these people are dangerous. Your msn convo with saito hajime has given true sight. It inspires me every day to work hard. One day, you will see me coversing in the same group of elites, invited by another elite and go back home and cry in your fish bowl.

Last but not least, I would like to think saito hajime, leader of the thrid squad in the shinsengumi, for standing by me and his values in the msn convo with fish man. You are my true friend. We share and breathe and live in the same words. Aku Soku Zan. Slay evil immediately.

5:41 PM

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Friday, March 28, 2008

Hi kids. Children having guns. While we are having fun.

BMT: Tekong, Falcon Coy

Training school: Stagmont Camp, Signal Institute (Siganaller Trainees School)

Unit posted: The premier Signal Battalion, 3 SIGNALS.

Specialty: Network Signal System Administrator.

Rank: Corporal

What did I learn about army:

I dont need a rank to lead. I am not an officer. I am not a sergeant. I am just a man. A normal corporal. But I dont need a rank on my shoulder or my side of my arm to show initiative, discipline, resourcefulness, quick thinking and efficiency. That is what army taught me. As much i hate to admit it. I really became a boy to young man.

In BMT, i learnt the value of time. When being late for 5 min, you would want to amputate your own arms after doing pushups forever. And watch your whole platoon do together with you just because you screwed up. That guilt.

I learnt the value of small, small things especially during the first 2 weeks confinement. The thing i missed most is .... the lift. 2 weeks of running up and down 5 stories, given barely 2 minutes to run up, fetch something and run back down and fall in like ducks waiting to be shot. I swear after my 2 weeks confinement, when I went back to my block and used the life, I feel like kissing the floor if there wasnt a pool of old ladies' saliva on it. Bloody old ladies. Do u know there is a covert operation in the U.S. to convert old ladies into fuel? Yes. Excellent, americans. Liquify OLD LADIES AND CONVERT THEM INTO FOSSIL FUEL! Now all the youths will be rejoycing so that they wont have to do projects on Ageing Populations for social studies. High five kids. Die fools.

....

Sorry got carried away. I was kidding, of course. Anyways, yes, the lift. And many more like the washing machine, water heater, toilet seat, unlimited tissue supply at home, comfy bed and pillows. All these minute details that we so easily just overlook in our mundane civilian lives will be remembered when the sweat drops at slow motion from your face to the ground (when doing push ups. Once our sergeant pumped us because he was sick of looking at the sun rising from the east, and because we failed to make it rise from the west the next morning.) Happy days.

After BMT, i went to signals and specialized in Information Technology. Basically at my peak of my performance, I learnt the knowledge to grasp the whole of signal network in my hands. I learnt a whole new knowledge, IT. I realized the importance of my role in the most powerful weapon of any army: information. Not only that, the knowledge i learnt can be applied to the civilian world. It is a highly relevant knowledge, once i despised it as I thought only geeks studied it and fell in love with. But after i understood it and learnt to appreciate it, i realized ... its more boring than i thought it was. Hehe. But who cares. That knowledge is powerful.

Yup, I am grateful all the things that I learnt in army. Character Strengthening and IT. I am gald that I didnt end up in infantry or something, where I cant utilise the things I learnt there outside in the civilian world.

Yup, any questions? Even you have, I wont answer them. Why? Ord Lo.

Ok, about anyways about the girl I loved. I already confessed to her. Serious. Why now? Then when? Yes, I may be contradicting from what I said in my previous entries in http://www.blind-blade.blogspot.com/. Earlier I was rambling about finishing my studies, get rich and then confess and everyone lives happily ever after. But I began to look realistically. Yes, I believed. Despite the odds, I believe. That is my strength. The power of beating the odds. It only occurs to rebels to defy the rules. All of you good boys marry your mommy's choice. I dont want to wait and wait and finally see her being married to some geek and then wipe a tear in the backstage in the future. Dudes. This about my love, I confessed asap since i started looking at the big picture. I let her know now when she is still single and not intereted in anyone. The ball is in her court now. Time will tell. She told me to just remain friends and keep my options open to others. Unlike emo peopl who will scream " NOooooooooooooooooooooo" in slow mo .... I just said "Ok, fair enough, once I have forgotten my feelings for you; I will concentrate on my studies and get to know u better plainly as a friend and get to know other girls also." So both win-win situation. Sorry emo fags, I am a hitokiri. Aku Soku Zan. Slay Evil Immediately. I feel much free and relaxed, the confession lasted less than 20 min but I feel much much better even though i was rejected. Die Fools. Aku Soku Zan. [Ben congratulated me that I had the sitaution under control]. Hehe. Ben, we are both survivors of the Tokugawa Era. It takes more than a drunk Sameera to dodge a gatotsu, or prevent being cleaved into two by my battoujutsu.

Either way, I am in no state for a relationship now. I am going to study like how an adult should. Workaholic and boring. Yup. Grind these four years. Get a good degree and the world is mine. Well maybe not, but you get the picture. I shall sweat it out and recover my losses of not going local U. At first, I was in an uncotrollable rage and killed anyone when they asked where I was going to study. But life is about acceptance. I accepted my path. From a merciless hitokiri I cooled down back to the harmless Rurouni. Now I gotta make the best out of it.

Yes, The sword plays a part in a duel. But, the primary factor is still the swordsman's skill and mental strength. Yes, I am a Rurouni. But once, I was a hitokiri. A legend. Dont push me to kill.

7:56 PM

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Sunday, March 23, 2008

I have signed on. It is a good pay. Education isn't everything.

Ok kids, who believed me, raise their hands. After two years in captivity in Pan's Labyrinth, you maggots and faggots haven't changed. Hi kids. Im back. Die Fools.

For those who believed me, thank you. I appreciate the trust. But unfortunately, you were punked (Shut up Aston Kutcher). Like the kids grovelling at my feet now, I havent changed. Well, not much. I have not lost my holy faith in lying.

For those who are not accustomed to my blog entry style, in cased you haven't realized, I DID NOT SIGN ON. If you ask me "sign on to what", I swear to the holy God of Kazakhstan (Borat) that i will send a virus that will disable your entire network, hard drive and sexual organ, if I must. After two years I feel as though I have aged 20 years. National Service has taken a toil on my physical and mental capability. Now I am fitter and more mature and offically an adult. I have grown to learn to appreciate life and devote my life to my family and country. Yeaaahh Riiiiiiiight. Kids. Who believed me? ... The three letters that all NSFs are all dying to chant towards the end of their term ... ORD lo. What did i gain from army? My pink ic. Ord lo. High five kids. Die fools.

Ok seriously speaking (settle down kids or I shall feed you to benedict chen), my last blog entry was in "www.blind-blade.blogspot.com" two years back. It doesnt exist anymore, because I removed it. It contained too much trash including racist comments and all which i swear to the law, I didnt mean it. It may have seemed amusing then to me and to some, but its not nice and too dangerous. And about the things I said about the one I loved dearly, of course that is not trash, I will speak about that in my next entry. Seriously speaking I have changed in many ways and my army experience has helped me to shape it. I am really thankful to my two years, because I faced more failures than successes. To those who are close to me, you know every failure makes me stronger. That is my secret to my culminating power. Seeking vengeance to recoup my losses has made me stronger. But I still have much to achieve.

My next entry will be a very short summary about what I did in army. [Girls can skip that section, cause I didnt go OCS, so dont bother]. Because kids, thats the only word they know about army. Maybe I am biased. Maybe I am not. My next entry will also be talking what I am going to do about my social life, and my future plans.

But for now, I can say that I am no more that "haha-hehe" Gughan you all knew. I am different now. Whoever who helps me in my path is my friend and I will lend my sword when they are in dire need, ONLY if they want to help themselves in the first place. Whoever encumbers me .. the same sword will descend upon your pathetic lives. Evil exists to be slayed one day. Honour and willpower exist to be evoked and to avenge. Justice will be served. I will serve.

1:39 AM

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Testing .. one two three ..

12:25 AM

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Sunday, March 9, 2008

Ok bye.

1:34 AM

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